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How do we live?

How do we go on

With pathways littered

With the jagged glass

Of lost chances

Turning back,

Looking over our shoulder,

Trying to catch

Wisps of smoke

From fires of the past


How do we carry on

Knowing that we left behind

People that filled the gaps

In our patchwork heart

Knowing that we walked away

From the one piece

That fitted our jigsaw puzzle

That completed somehow

Our broken soul

Filling the cracks

With their own pieces


How do we tell them

That in their eyes

We see what happiness is

And that their smile

Is more intoxicating

Than the finest wine

That their kiss

Is a drug

That we will love them

Irrevocably and infinitely

And still walk away

Every time we come

Too close to the flame

Of staying


How do we say

That we love people

When we cannot stay

When we cannot be

When they need us the most

When we break them

In infinite ways

When we are the reason

Behind the drying salt

On blotchy cheeks

And damp pillows

When we break promises

Like threads of gossamer

And play the fiddle

On delicate heartstrings

When we chase after

Reluctant hearts

Only to drop them

Like hot coals


How do we trudge on

Blistered and bleeding 

Bruised and broken

In more ways than one

Limping ever onward

With hope still clinging,

Beating erratically

In ragged, wretched hearts

Not the staccato

Of a proud march

But the faint rhythm

Of a dismal dirge, yet

Still searching

For that elusive light;

For flames may flicker

But they can still sear

And warm frozen bones

For even fireflies

Can blaze like stars

On a dark enough night

So is this the miracle of life

Or simply the curse of it?

-Gautami

Bleed and burn, on your own.

It’s a familiar feeling

Though not one I’ve courted

Nor one I’ve ever gotten used to

Like the delirium in my head

Or the bitterness in my mouth

The salt on warm cheeks.

 

It’s turning backs and closed doors,

Fingers letting go,

Dry eyes and goodbyes.

It’s a warm new wound

On a battered heart.

It’s watching pieces stolen from you,

Your missing parts

Becoming part of someone else’s

Jigsaw-puzzle soul.

 

It’s watching from afar,

Sunny smiles and joy

Bubbling on treacherous lips

Lips that could wound,

Words that took my breath away,

And wondering why

It’s you standing alone again,

Patchwork heart in hand.

 

You took away my sunshine,

Now you’re bathing in its light

While I’m standing in the dark

Waiting for a star to bloom

On a cold, unforgiving sky;

Diamonds on black velvet.

 

Maybe that’s the way

It’s written to be.

Maybe it really is just you

Tangling yourself into

The nooses of people’s timelines

Their heartstrings twisting

Round ready, delicate necks.

Maybe you’re just the moth

Flying on parchment wings

Into alluring flame

Only to burn yourself again

When the smoke clears away.

 

-Gautami.