Unasked, unanswered

They say

If you love someone

Let them go

But what if

You do

Love still persists

Clinging on in

A tired heart

Pumping with every

Restless beat

Asking, begging

For everything to

Stop.

Go back

To the way things were

 

They say

It’s not love

Unless you fight for it

But how do

Sandy shores ask

The churning tide

To stay

Even when pebbles

Long for the kiss

Of salt and breeze

Even when gravel

Aches for the

Silken touch

And warm caress

Of sea foam

It will linger

Teasing, sighing,

Before pulling away

Yet again.

 

How do you

Lay down your hand

Cards on the table

Put everything

On full display

Your heart on the

Chopping block

Waiting, waiting

With bated breath

For the inevitable slice

Of the executioner’s blade

To fall again

 

And the questions

Flood in

Why is it always

Me fighting

Why is it so easy

For you

To let go

To walk away

Why is it always

Me begging

Me having to prove

To fight

For you to stay

Questions that

I would rather

Not know

The answers to

For ignorance is bliss

And perhaps

I would rather live

In a Fool’s Paradise

Oblivious of the

Damocles’ sword

Swinging over

My neck

Than let the world

Take away

The last vestiges

Of my poor sanity.

 

So I lie there

Stuck in an endless cycle,

A vicious paradox,

Too close, yet

Not close enough

Too distant, yet

Not far enough

Loving and longing

For a stubborn heart

That will not give in

While mine own

Waits and wants

In silent agony.

 

Beating, beating

Holding, clinging with

Some stubborn strength

God know it’s tiring

God knows it hurts

God knows it

Tugs and pulls

In exquisite ache

Bring out the scales

Take measure

Of the balance of pain

Hold on

Or let go.

 

-Gautami.

 

 

 

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